I used a walking stick for about seven years and now I'm using a walker. At first I felt a little self-conscious using a cane. It reminded me of old Juan Rey Chavez, a cripple in San Mateo, New Mexico who walked funny and used a cane. As youngsters we imitated him. "Juan Rey, wherever you are, forgive me." God knows, there may be some youngsters out there imitating me today.

Before I started using a cane and then a walker. I seldom noticed canes or walkers. Now I notice them and feel a kinship to those that do. I like to talk to them and exchange pleasantries. As a rule we seldom talk of our physical disabilities. We have learned it doesn't do a bit of good. Usually we talk about our families and how blessed we are. Seldom do we hear anyone condemn or curse anyone else for our state of health.

Most lame people seem to have an inner strength that gives strength to others. I have also found that most lame people have a keen sense of humor and are fun to talk to. Most have learned to live with pain and simply ignore it. I carry a pocket full of Advil tablets with me. One tough lady told me, "Pain doesn't kill."

By now you are probably wondering, "What is Abe Pena's problem? Why doesn't he get a knee or a hip replacement and go on." I wish it was as simple as that. My problem is the spinal cord. It has thinned down to a thread in the thoracic area and messages barely get through to my legs. It all started at age 13 when a horse I was riding north of Mt. Taylor stumbled while running. I spread eagled as he rolled striking me in the back with the cantle of the high cantled saddle.

I recall lying numb for about ten minutes, it seemed like a lifetime, before I got some sensation back to my arms and legs. The doctors believe the blow on the spinal cord was such that a cyst slowly started growing on the cord at that time.

In 1974 at age 48 while I was serving in Costa Rica with the Peace Corps my left leg started to go numb. Neurosurgeons in Albuquerque with dyes (before CAT Scans or MRI's) found a tumor the size of "a pecan" growing on the spinal cord in the thoracic area.

Neurosurgeons who operated four times in the past 27 years to remove other cysts have agreed and concluded that the problem is the result of the fall from the horse. Recent MRI's show continued thinning of the spinal cord with some scar tissue. One Doctor said what the rest were thinking, "There's nothing we can do to regenerate spinal cord cells."

My left leg is numb and I have to keep telling it what to do because the nerves that control it are no longer functioning. At times I have to look for the leg to give it instruction before I start trying to get up and walk.

Spine specialists at the Mayo Clinic clinic have concluded that stem cell research may find a treatment for spinal cords but it's possibly decades away. I am doing what I can to help researchers accelerate the research so that young people with spinal cord problems may have a chance at a normal life in the future.

There are some positives to my problem. I have finished another book titled "Villages and Villagers" It follows"Memories of Cibola" published in 1997 and now in its third printing.

Since my mobility has been curtailed I have more time to write and to write one has to sit down. Hopefully I can continue to write for a long time telling the story of our Villages and Pueblos in the Land of Cibola and the southwest.

I'm also writing a book about Latin America where my family and I worked 12 years in the Foreign Service. God willing I hope to get it published someday.

Lois Darnell, an artist who gave me art lessons in the 1960's told me recently. "I read everything you write. I hope you keep writing."

I told her, "Let's make a deal. You keep on reading and I'll keep on writing." And she said, "It's a deal!"